remembrance

I remember being a child...with wonder

I remember my feet connecting with the land as each foot pushed into the sweet earth

I remember the smells, the sights, and the sounds that filled my senses

Colors and sensations were on high alert as I breathed the air around me

I still see the Big Sandy river flowing by filled with crawdads, turtles, and catfish

I smell the muddy water with musky aroma... the cow pies that sprinkled its banks...

New hay being put up in the adjacent fields

I rediscovered being a child after everything went henshit in my life...

We have choices when this happens, we can crawl into a hole, we can blame others around us... or we can simply scream, cry and get it out.. release then breathe again

I began to wander the land again... first just wandering to great spiritual trees that survived on our road, then to long hikes up mountains that surrounded us.

Finally I ended up in land that had called me as a child. We came up to Lincoln every fall so that our men could hunt, fish, survey the land. As we passed through the Wolf Creek area, the Dearborn area... I looked out on the lonely snarled trees that bent and grew from the jagged rocks underneath their branches and I marveled at the hillsides that gave birth to such majestic creatures....

Little did I know that I would date a kind and gentle man who remains a good friend and who would allow me to lay my feet upon this lonely land..

healing became complete with golden hues and my puppy beside me. The bubbling creek that flowed through the land held marvelous sandstone and green moss that was so vibrant it shook me to my very soul. I laid in the richness for hours.... and I have never quite been the same.

A longing began in my heart for lands unknown, for creations from the great creator... for meaning....